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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24262537">Running a speakeasy isn’t all it’s cut out to be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stand By Me (1986), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Gift Fic, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Out of Character, Ratings: G</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:54:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24262537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A cheesy crackfic for the sole purpose of annoying Ginny_Lovegood. Magnus runs a bar. You don’t have to like (or have seen) the movie Stand By Me to think this is funny. Just know Ginny_Lovegood loves Shadowhunters and hates Stand by Me (especially the character Teddy Duchamp).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ace Merrill/Teddy Duchamp, Teddy Duchamp/Magnus Bane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Crackfic War</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Running a speakeasy isn’t all it’s cut out to be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny_Lovegood/gifts">Ginny_Lovegood</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24216793">I love you</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny_Lovegood/pseuds/Ginny_Lovegood">Ginny_Lovegood</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know Magnus ran a speakeasy in the late twenties so that’s when this takes place. </p>
<p>I don’t know of any Shadowhunters villains so I’m just going to have Ace from Stand by Me be the antagonist. If you don’t know who he is, he’s just your standard mean guy played by the magnificent Kiefer Sutherland.</p>
<p>I’ve never read Shadowhunters in my life, so this is based on a skim of a few articles.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Teddy sat down at the end stool at the bar.</p>
<p>”The usual?” Magnus asked.</p>
<p>”Yeah.”</p>
<p>Teddy lit a cigarette as Magnus poured Teddy a beer.</p>
<p>”How are you doing?” Magnus asked.</p>
<p>”Eh. Could be better.” Teddy sighed through his nose. “Nick got laid off. I.. I don’t want to be next.” Teddy sniffed, blinking tears out of his eyes.</p>
<p>”Aw, sorry.” Magnus reached over the bar and adjusted Teddy’s tie. “I can always spare a couple of dollars if you need it.”</p>
<p>Ace slid into the barstool next to Teddy. “Magnus, why do you continue to let thischainsmoking drunk into your bar?” he said, pointing at Teddy. “You don’t need him tarnishing your good name.”</p>
<p>Magnus glared at Ace. “Shut up.”</p>
<p>Ace grabbed Teddy by the collar and pulled him off the barstool. “What if I don’t?” He took the cigarette from Teddy’s hand and burned him with it, holding the cigarette to his collarbone.</p>
<p>A passionate fire burned in Magnus’ eyes. He hurled a shot glass at Ace, but it missed him and hit the wall behind him. Ace dragged Teddy towards the back of the bar. </p>
<p>“Teddy ‘Douchebag’ will be done for!” Ace yelled, before cackling evilly.</p>
<p>Ace pulled out a knife and held it to Teddy’s neck. “Oh, my sweet Teddy. If I can’t have you, no one will!”</p>
<p>A bystander cut in. “Ace, you were just calling him a chain smoking drunk. Why do you suddenly like him?”</p>
<p>Ace glared at her. “It’s not my fault if the author is willing to sacrifice continuity for comedic effect.”</p>
<p>Magnus hopped over the bar and tore the knife from Ace’s hand before stabbing it into his shoulder. Ace gripped his shoulder and fell to the ground. Teddy looked up at Magnus.</p>
<p>”Thank you for saving me.”</p>
<p>Magnus smiled. “Anytime,” he said, before pulling Teddy into a tender embrace. “Let’s get some ice on that burn.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This ended up somewhere between crack and a hurt/comfort fic that a ten year old would write unironically. </p>
<p>Credit to Ginny_Lovegood for the nickname “Teddy Douchebag”. Thank you to Ginny_Lovegood, for inspiring this.. thing.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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